After my oldest was born (almost 4 years ago) I was in a very dark time. I was going through some serious Post Partum Depression. However, I didn't know it. When AJ (my oldest, yes, she has many names) was a couple months old I HAD to come visit my parents. I had to get away, I needed a little bit of help, and I was constantly angry. While I was here, I got on my parent's elliptical machine. You wouldn't believe this, but as I was exercising on the machine, one of the welds broke. Can you imagine? A depressed, angry, first time mother just wanting to get some weight off (I was only 180 at the time) breaking the weld of anything? In my head, my weight just ballooned up to about 750 lbs. I HATED myself already, and now I was disgusted with everything.
I decided to run outside along the road. I wasn't quite a quarter of a mile from the house, and I tripped and rolled my ankle. My knee slammed up against a rock, and I skidded some on the dirt road. I came back to the house bawling and bloodied. I spent the next three hours sitting in the shower crying.
After that, I went straight to the Dr and got on some medication to help me through that time. I didn't need much, and I didn't need it for very long, but I did need help. If I hadn't beat the crap out of myself that day, I don't know what would have happened.
SO - On Friday I decided to head out for a run. I figured that since I've been eating more than usual, I at least needed to get out once and run. On my way home I passed the spot on the dirt road where almost 4 years ago I had tripped. I had the biggest smile on my face. I remember how broken I was then, and how amazing I am now. I have come a very long way.