Evening Run

I'm not sure if it was because of the time of day I was able to get out on the running path, or if it was because my two year old kept me up AGAIN ALL NIGHT (or what felt like all night). But it was very difficult for me to get out tonight. No matter how I felt, I was determined. I told myself, "No, I don't want to run tonight, I'm tired. But I have to." And that's how I feel. It doesn't matter how much I DON'T want to do it. It still has to be done.

I got this pic from here

Now that I'm home, stretched out. I'm damn proud of myself. I even held onto a decent pace, well-for me. The first mile SUCKED. I was in the sun, and I was still feeling exhausted. Mile two felt a little cleaner. I don't really know how else to explain it. I was still heavy footed, but just felt more at ease. Then came mile 3. NICE!!! Got my second wind. Started to stretch my stride a little. It was a great feeling to walk in the door after the way I felt when I left.

So, what time of day is your favorite? Do you like to start off the day with exercise? Or do you like to end the day getting all your energy out? I know I used to like ending the day exercising. I would stretch, shower, and fall asleep fast. Now it seems I've totally reversed. I feel more energised, and ready to do more after I run.

New Plan

OK! So you know how I've been trying a few different tactics to find my niche? I think I finally found it. I said in my earlier post that I decided to run a marathon. I'm totally sticking to it! I went for a short run today; 1.5 miles. It took me 17 minutes. I'm ok with that pace. In fact, I'm very happy. My husband said he'd support me, even though he thinks I'm psychotic. I've always wanted to run a marathon, and I'm excited to finally do it! I've also always wanted to finish a triathlon, so we'll see where this leads.

Frankly, I'm excited. W1D1, this is going to be a fun journey!!!

Liebster Award

A HUGE Thank You to Sarah @ On My Weigh To Happiness. She gave me an award this morning. I have to admit that it really makes me smile to see this award. I haven't posted a whole bunch in the past few weeks, and I'm still trying to get my niche again. So this helps me feel better about things, Thank You! Sarah is definitely an inspiration to me. She's done amazing things, and works so hard everyday. Her blog is amazing.

The Liebster Blog Award is designed to bring additional recognition to those bloggers with less than 200 followers. If you receive the award, you should link back to the blogger that nominated you and nominate five more blogs.

I nominate

Safire -  LOVE LOVE LOVE her!!!! She has been with me from the start of my challenges, and always is positive. She's a supporter that I could never have asked for. Her blog is one of the best. It has a great variety of personal outlooks, shared information, and food!!! But don't read it on an empty stomach!!

Drazil - Talk about a FUN blog. I love reading her. She's definitely entertaining, and very inspirational!!

Bobbi - She's not only one of my favorite inspirational bloggers, but she also is also one of my biggest motivators at Daily Mile. LOVE YA!!!

Jodi - Once again. I could never explain how much she's inspired me. She motivated me though her posts and her comments. Also, I feel like I totally understands when she's having a dilemma. I always seem to be going though a similar situation. Whether it's with food or exercise.

Bonnie - She may be listed last, but she is definitely not least. I LOVE her blog. She always makes time to comment and help me when I need it most. Thank You So Much!!!

AND....

So, Yeah! Well, my Detox did really good, but I'm pretty much over it. Being that things here at my house has been a little rough, I've had to do something that I HATE! We are in desperate need of some cash, so I've had to start donating plasma. Let me just say that we've had Hot Dogs and Mac N Cheese  three times this week, and the other times it's been Peanut Butter and Jelly. Ok, I'm being a little dramatic. Just a little. I've had to eat heavier meals instead of my planned detox. However, I've been sticking to the REASON why I wanted to do the detox. I've actually lost 3 POUNDS!!! I've pretty much stopped snacking throughout the day. And, I'm really working on the addictive behaviors. I feel good.

Ok, so let's talk about my new ticker over there on the Right. What do you think? Many of the people I'm following in the Blogging world are serious runners. I've read SO many blogs about marathons and triathlons, and the amazing accomplishments. I've always wanted to run a marathon. I don't really give a rollin doughnut about a time, I just want to finish it! Two years ago, I did a relay and ran 6.1 miles. I did awful! But I was so proud of being able to finish it. So, I have decided to go for it! I got my husband's permission and I know exactly the one I'm going to do.

 I have to admit, I'm scared. I haven't done very well on keeping with a goal lately. But I think I can do this. I've kept active, and I've asked my friend to join me. She has no desire to run a marathon, but she'll work towards the 5 or 10K. So I have someone who'll help keep me motivated. The biggest problem I see is the long runs. I think I'll have to plan them for Fridays instead of Saturdays. On warm weather, Saturdays are riding days, and I'm not sure I'll have the support of my husband to watch the kids. So I'm planning on using Hal Higdon's schedule, and just adjust it a little for my weekly plan.

Dexot Report

So, How am I doing in this little detox plan? NOT TOO BAD. Ok, last night it took a lot of effort for me to stay away from zucchini bread loaded with peanut butter after the kids have gone to bed. WOAH! See the problem? This was the exact action that I've been trying to get away from, and I held back!! What an accomplishment. I basically HIDE my eating. I don't want people to see me eat, and I don't want to share. And then when I start with something small, I don't stop until I have binged. I keep seeing an addictive situation and I'm trying to stop.

I got this pic from  here

Anyway, right now I'm starving, and I think I'll go eat an apple. Then I will go on a short 3-4 mile run, and a salad for lunch.

Today is day 3, and the past two days have been hard, but I've done well. I have 12 days to go, and I'm going to finish strong by sticking to my plan.

A Personal Detox

I have been playing with an idea for the past couple of weeks to put myself on a simple eating detox program. It is quite obvious that I need to refocus my efforts  on losing weight, and try to get myself back into a routine of exercising and making healthy choices. So, in order to jump start my "new" experience, I'm going on a strict detox schedule. Believe it or not, I'm excited!!!

For 14 days, I'm following a fruit and veggie diet that will help me get used to adding those things back into my regular food schedule. During the day, I will only eat fresh fruit and veggies (mmmm, salads). At dinner time, I will allow myself to eat cooked food so that it's easier to eat with my family. Obviously, I'll make sure I keep my protein and healthy carb intake is up to par during this time too, but not focusing on it much.

Why 14 days? Well, I did a great initial 30 day challenge, and basically, I've failed every other challenge I've set before myself. So, this one is half the time. Also, it's said that it takes 14 days to break a habit, and 22 days to set a habit. Ok, I know that little statement always has different days, but the principle is the same. I have some major habits to be breaking.

I hope that makes sense. I really want to start looking at food as fuel instead of security. I'm sick of trying to hide my eating. I actually will put my kids down for "quiet time" so that I can snack and not have to share what I'm snacking on. I keep thinking about it, and I find myself disgusted with my eating habits. NO WONDER I'M STUCK AT MY WEIGHT!!!

Anyway, today was day 1. So, wish me luck!

Zumba day!

AH Yes, today was Zumba day. What love! To put it bluntly, Today sucked. I'm not sure why, but I wasn't able to do a stinking thing. I couldn't remember any of the routines. And I felt like Gumby. I just couldn't move. But, I got a good sweat on, and at least I tried really hard.

Today would have been my weigh in day, but since I put the scale away, I've totally forgotten about it. I did notice that my undies kept crawling up my behind during zumba class today. Definitely not something that usually happens, so I'm hoping that my undies have shrunk, and has nothing to do with my behind getting larger.

I got this pic from here

I do have a little something to look forward to today. My wonderful husband picked some corn out of our garden a  couple of days ago, and we're going to eat that for dinner!! YAY!!! I love corn. and knowing that you grew it, makes it that much more sweeter. YAY!!

Good run

Oh, I just love days like today. I got out on my run, and it was wonderful!!! It was cool, and just a non-schalant kind of run. I didn't really push it hard. I felt strong, and just peaceful. This is the kind of run that I strive for each time I'm out. I Power walked half a mile, ran three, and power walked the last half mile. It was so stress free, and just a great time.

Got this pic from here

I feel good about things right now. After my little rant about what I REALLY wanted, I have been able to see things very clearly, and been able to work through them my way. I put my scale away. I don't care to lose weight right now. I just want to feel good, stay active, and be conscious about my health.

I'm not saying "I want to be healthy" anymore. Even though I strive for that. The reality is that I'm going to indulge, I'm going eat junk, and I'm going to lazy around once in a while. So ME being healthy isn't always the truth. I want to be healthy, but I also want to be free. So, instead of eating healthy, I'm eating consciously. I'm not busting my butt out there on the running path everyday, but I'm staying active and I'm exercising on a regular basis. This is good for me, and right now, that's what I need.

here - sorta

Yeah Yeah Yeah, I've talked quite a bit recently about falling off the wagon. Every time I seem to try to jump on, I'm only half-assing it. Isn't that sad? I'm still getting my exercise (well, not as much) and I'm doing good on my calorie intake. Well, good if I didn't want to lose weight. The truth is right now, that I don't want to loose weight. I want to gain weight. I want to gain 15-20 lbs over the next 9 months and have a baby. I've wanted this same thing for the past 21months (WOW, that's almost 2 years). I really didn't ever think it would take this long for a 3rd child.

My husband and I were excited to be pregnant with our 3rd baby at the beginning of the year, but I lost it, and I just don't understand why it's take this long to get pregnant again. It was definitely easy in March to refocus on getting fit, and losing weight. But now I can't restrict my caloric intake so much in thinking that there's a chance I might actually be pregnant. It's really no justification for WHAT I'm eating though.

What do I need?
I need a plan. I need to be settled in my plan and right now it can't specifically be focused on weight loss.
I need to be healthy.
I need to change my mindset.
I need to make good decisions for MY body, and those decisions MUST coincide with my biggest What If.
I need to do this because I need feel better about myself, and I need to feel in control of who I am.
I need to quit making excuses.


I got the pic from here