Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Buttercup!

I can't say that I'm very motivational today. In fact, it seems that today should be a pity party in my house. I have no reason to feel this way, but today is definitely what I would consider a dark day. I want to sit on my couch, eat popcorn, and feel terrible for everything and nothing at the same time. I hate these days. They seem to follow a cycle. Every couple of months I get angry, and depressed. If you've known me for very long, or read my story. I used to let these times overcome me and take over my life.



But not today dammit! I can not waste my time like this anymore. Last night I almost did let it over take me. I sat in front of the TV, I felt sick, and simply depressed. Even this morning I turned off my alarm and didn't go running. But overall, I am lucky. A few years ago, I literally beat myself up and recognized these dark days. I consider myself lucky because I have become able to see my dark days coming and have learned to head them off. Never without support, and at first not with out medical help. But now I have a great support system, and a great routine to help me through.

So, this morning I got up and weeded my garden. And right before lunch I got up and went for a hard, but good run. I thought to myself, "well, looks like I got two options right now. Turn into a buttercup, or start to suck it up." It looks like it's going to be a rough next few days, that's ok, cause I'm worth it.

 

2 comments:

Beth Ann said...

Good for you! It is so much "easier" to sit on the couch, but in the long run, it feels so much better to MOVE. Go girl!

Stacy said...

Way to go! I like your attitude. Maybe we can't always pull ourselves up by our bootstraps but we do have to keep fighting letting the depression win. Life is short.